Elevator Problems
by Deneveon
Summary: What do you get when you have five mutants stuck in an elevator? Disaster, that's what! [COMPLETED]
1. The Doors Close...

***  
  
Elevator Problems  
  
***  
  
The Mandatory Disclaimer: I do not own X-Men. You all know that. I know that. The people at Marvel know that. SO DON'T SUE ME, OKAY?!  
  
***  
  
Author's Note: A break from my usual Star Wars writing, I decided to give this a try. I'm just a newbie at X-Men stuff, but give me a break! I love the movie, the comics, and the TV series! So there!  
  
***  
  
"Hi," Logan greeted casually as three of his comrades entered the elevator at Charles Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters.  
  
"Hi," Scott (Cyclops) replied, annoyed that he would be sharing space with the regenerating clawed human.  
  
Storm (I'd use Ororo, but it's much faster to type "Storm". You try it, if you don't believe me.), who quickly spotted the coming tension, immediately intervened. "Give it up, boys."  
  
"Yeah," Rogue tried.  
  
Just as the elevator doors were halfway closed, Jean yelled from the hallway, "WAIT! WAIT! GEE, I JUST SAID WAIT! OPEN THE DOORS!"  
  
Logan tried punching the buttons, but the doors continued to close. "It's ain't my fault! He yelled back.  
  
Scott tried frying the buttons, but it didn't work, and the doors still continued their slow trek. "Ah, oh well."  
  
"I'm not making a tornado in HERE!" Storm said.  
  
Everyone turned to Rogue. 'What?" She said. It took her a second to get her excuse. "Hello!" She waved her gloved hand in front of their faces. "If the doors were ALIVE, I could help! But I CAN'T, now CAN I?"  
  
"Gee, a simple 'not me' could've helped," Logan said, shaking his head.  
  
The doors, they noticed, were stuck. Jean slipped in. "Thank goodness for telekinesis."  
  
"Riiiiiiiigggggghhhhhht." Rogue said sarcastically.  
  
"I thought Wheels made this elevator so you couldn't USE your powers," Logan remarked, making obvious his new use of his nickname for Professor X.  
  
"Cut it out, Wolverine." Jean replied.  
  
"What did I do this time?" Logan defended, acting hurt.  
  
"Just close the stupid door."  
  
Logan began pounding on the buttons again. "It isn't working! I bet it got wrecked by your powers."  
  
"Shut up. You've been doing all the smacking."  
  
Scott shook his head. "Step aside, kids! Let a PROFESSIONAL do this."  
  
"Fine, try your best, fry boy."  
  
"Ha, ha."  
  
Scott stepped in front of the buttons and started opening a panel.  
  
"Hey! What do you think you're doing, Scott? X paid a lot for this new installment, you know!" Jean intersected.  
  
"Put it on my tab," he replied cockily, working on the wires. "There."  
  
The doors squeaked as it closed. "Where to, passengers? The buttons won't respond, you know. So I will have to be your savior. Uh, uh, no need to thank me," he said with a smile.  
  
"Fourth," Storm and Rogue said together. They were in a corner, not minding the fuss.  
  
Jean rolled her eyes and said, "Second."  
  
"I'm with her," Logan provoked.  
  
Scott shot him a hot glare. Good thing he had his glasses on.  
  
After thirty seconds of smooth riding, it suddenly stopped and the lights went out. Jean squealed.  
  
"What's going on?" someone asked.  
  
"You tell me," came the reply.  
  
"It's okay, I got it," Scott assured them.  
  
"I don't think so," Logan sighed.  
  
That was the beginning of their elevator problems.  
  
***  
  
The first chapter is always the shortest. So I hope you review this and if I get good reviews I will post more chapters. And if I don't get good reviews I'll post more chapters anyway. I promise they'll be funnier. Anyone read my Star Wars Survivor yet?  
  
***  
  
Completed Mar. 2, 2002 


	2. The Dark Room

***  
  
CHAPTER TWO: The Tension Heats Up (And so does the inside of the elevator…)  
  
***  
  
Author's Note: Sorry if the last chapter was sort of short. (Heh, funny. What? Don't you get it? The rhyme? Oh, never mind.) I'll try to make it up to you with this one. Enjoy!  
  
***  
  
"Okay, okay, let's back up here, mechanical wiz," Jean said, groping around in the still-dark elevator. "What did you do?"  
  
"I didn't do ANYTHING!" Scott asserted.  
  
"Well, yes, you technically did SOMETHING. You fixed the doors. Isn't that doing something?" Rogue asked.  
  
"Smart aleck," Storm retorted, rolling her eyes in the dark.  
  
"Actually, my name's Marie. You should say 'Smart Marie'."  
  
Storm shook her head, annoyed at Rogue's newly found talent. Annoying people.  
  
Logan tried scratching the walls of the lift, making a very annoying and painful noise. The other four finally got exasperated.  
  
"STOP IT!" They all said simultaneously.  
  
"Whoa, cool," Logan remarked, stopping. "How'd you do that?"  
  
'Do what, claw man?" Scott asked.  
  
"Talk all at the same time."  
  
"Well, I don't know. The author does that, I guess," Jean stated.  
  
"That's irrelevant, you know," Rogue snapped.  
  
"When did YOU start using long, complicated words?"  
  
"Just now. You've got a problem with that?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Don't look at me. Not my fault you've got issues."  
  
"Look, KID, just shut up. You're not helping."  
  
"Well, I can't really 'look', now can I? It's too dark."  
  
"Give it up, doc," Storm helped. "You won't win with this kid."  
  
"Yeah. There." Rogue threw a raspberry into the air.  
  
"Why you little…" Jean would've punched the first person she felt if Scott hadn't held her back.  
  
"Not now, sweetheart," he soothed. Logan fisted his right hand in the dark.  
  
Rogue was smiling through and through.  
  
"Okay, now let's all calm down here," Scott said. "It won't help if we keep fighting."  
  
"Oh, and when did you start becoming alpha male slash counselor?" Logan challenged menacingly.  
  
"When this lift stopped."  
  
"Ha!" He laughed through his teeth. "Now you're English."  
  
"No, I'm not. What makes you say that?" Scott was at the edge of his temper.  
  
"Great! I'm stuck in an elevator with a guy who shoots laser out of his eyes and calls an elevator a lift and he denies being English!"  
  
"Yeah. I've got an Irish temper though. You want me to show you?" Scott replied, his patience running extremely thin.  
  
"Must I always be the mediator around here?" Storm complained. "Stop it, you two! We must concentrate on getting this elevator unstuck. Or at least get the lights back on."  
  
Rogue scoffed. "And how are we supposed to do THAT? We can't use our powers inside this thing anyway. Don't know why Professor X had to do that…"  
  
"Oh, at least you could be a little optimistic! Come on, let's see… Jean. We can do this, right?"  
  
The doctor shrugged. "How would I know? I can't tell the future. Besides, if I could, I wouldn't be able to tell in here anyway."  
  
Storm sighed. "Fine. You don't want to help, then don't. Scott, can you try getting the lights back on without lights?"  
  
Scott shook his head, but no one really saw him do it, and you all know why.  
  
"So?"  
  
"No, silly! I can't! It's too dark. And it's getting hot too," Scott finally replied.  
  
"Hey, yeah, thanks for pointing that out, know-it-all," Logan said sarcastically.  
  
"Stop it, you two, AGAIN," Storm started.  
  
"Don't bother them."  
  
"And why shouldn't I, oh great Doctor Grey?"  
  
"They'll figure it out on their own."  
  
"Oh yeah, I remember. They got the elevator moving, remember?" She switched to an angry, sarcastic voice. "AND THEY GOT US STUCK HERE!"  
  
"Women," Logan grumbled.  
  
"I heard that!" A female voice yelled from the other side of the compartment.  
  
"Told you so," he directed to Scott.  
  
"When did WE get into conversing mood?" Scott asked, Storm and Jean still arguing.  
  
"I thought you'd be smart enough to leave it where it was. Aren't you?" He asked tauntingly.  
  
"Well, apparently," Scott said, "I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU! HELLO! I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO LIKE YOU! AND I DON'T! SO THERE!"  
  
Everyone was staring towards Scott's direction, even the two arguing women. The elevator was quiet. For once.  
  
"WHAT?" Scott asked. "Can't a man vent his anger these days?"  
  
"Told you he had an Irish temper," Storm whispered to Logan.  
  
"YES I DO! NOW EVERYBODY LISTEN TO ME SO WE CAN GET OUT OF THIS…" He started banging the controls and the walls. "ANNOYING… *bang* STUCK…*crunch* SWELTERING… *squeak*…ELEVATOR!"  
  
The compartment suddenly jumped and the lights went back on. Jean squealed again, and Scott said loudly, "Told you I'd fix it!"  
  
"We STILL aren't moving! Duh!" Rogue yelled angrily.  
  
"Start on the wires!" Storm snapped.  
  
"Do something GOOD for once!" Logan said through gnashed teeth.  
  
"Well, at least you could THANK me for helping get this 'elevator' unstuck! None of you are helping, you know."  
  
"Thanks for pointing that out. Like we can do anything," Jean said quietly.  
  
"You know, you should learn more sarcasm." Rogue remarked.  
  
"I don't WANT to be sarcastic, girl. I can be sarcastic when I want to."  
  
"Oh, gee. Whatever."  
  
"Hey! Hey!" Scott announced. "We're moving!"  
  
No one thanked him.  
  
A few minutes later, he said wearily, "We're not stopping. We're just going up."  
  
Rogue's face was terror-stricken. "Whatever goes up…"  
  
"Must come down," Storm finished grimly.  
  
"We're in a heap of trouble this time. Brace!" Logan said, grabbing a rail in preparation for a drop.  
  
TEN SECONDS LATER  
  
Everyone was screaming as the lift plunged downwards.  
  
***  
  
Hope you enjoyed that. So it wasn't much longer than the first. Sorry 'bout that. I sort of have partial writer's block now. Anyway chapter three not far behind. REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!  
  
***  
  
Completed Mar. 3, 2002 


	3. Could This Be the End?

***  
  
CHAPTER THREE: The End… Or Is It?  
  
***  
  
Author's Note: The ending isn't too dramatic, but oh, what the heck! It took me half an hour on each of these chapters. I'm working on another one anyway. Let's see how our heroes escape this one. If they do!  
  
***  
  
"AAAAAAAAHHHHHH! SOMEONE SSSTTOP TH-THIS TH-TH-THING!" Jean yelled as the plunged downwards.  
  
"I CAN'T! IT WASN'T MY FAULT!" Scott yelled back, trying to repel the gravity forces peeling his lip into a funny fat position.  
  
"YES IT WAS! IT WAS YOU T-T-TINKERING WITH TH-THE WIRES!" Logan snapped, but it actually didn't sound like he was mad because he was squinting and it looked like he was a cute smiling bunny.  
  
"WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!" Rogue muttered loudly.  
  
"NO WE'RE NOT! WHY ARE YOU SO PESSIMISTIC?" Storm asked, annoyed, the heavy fact weighing on her that this fall would probably be her last.  
  
But she was not paying any attention to the white-haired woman beside her, screaming for attention.  
  
The compartment suddenly fell faster and everyone was "floating" in the middle of the compartment. Jean was crying.  
  
"I DON'T WANT TO DIE! I DON'T WANT TO DIE!"  
  
"OH, BE QUIET! I WANT TO DIE A PEACEFUL DEATH!" Logan shouted.  
  
"I'M WITH YOU!" Rogue yelled.  
  
"I TOLD YOU, WE'RE NOT GONNA…" Storm could not finish her sentence as the elevator suddenly stopped, then went, stop, went, stop, went…. "DYIAAYAYAYAYAYAY! OWAWOW!" And it stopped, and there was a loud "THUMP."  
  
"Good thing I landed on my safety cushion," Scott muttered.  
  
"Told you folks we weren't gonna die," Storm announced proudly.  
  
Jean scoffed, trying to hide her tears. "Yeah, whatever."  
  
"Crybaby."  
  
"Am not!"  
  
"Are too!"  
  
"Not!"  
  
"Too!"  
  
"Not!"  
  
"Too!"  
  
"STOP IT YOU TWO!" Scott said.  
  
"You keep out of this!" The two women said at the same time. Rogue was rubbing her head and was mumbling a long but low "Oooooooooooooooowwww."  
  
"Cool!" Logan said again. "How'd you do THAT?"  
  
"I told you, Logan, the author did it!" Jean snapped.  
  
"Oooooohhh, I toil for half an hour putting you in my fic and this is the thanks I get! Grrrrrreeeeaaaaat!" I said, impatient.  
  
"Where'd THAT come from?" Logan said, amazed, looking around.  
  
I smacked my forehead. "Heeeeeelllllooooooo! I'm the AUTHOR!"  
  
"Oh. So that's how the author sounds like…"  
  
"Oh," I said, mimicking his tone. "So? This the thanks I get?"  
  
"Rather not thank you at all," Rogue grumbled.  
  
"I heard that!"  
  
Rogue shook her head and played at her white streaks.  
  
"Fine. Fine! You'll just have to suffer for another half hour with, let's see… Jar Jar Binks!"  
  
"Nooooooo!" Storm pleaded. "Anyone but the annoying, useless creature from Star Wars Episode One!"  
  
"Hehehe, this is going to be so fun," I whispered, rubbing my palms together.  
  
"Please, no, please!"  
  
"What's wrong with this Binks character?" Jean asked.  
  
"You don't want to know…" Storm started, and I seemed as if she might collapse.  
  
Scott got an idea. "Give us Magneto!"  
  
"Hello! You can't use your powers in this elevator," Logan said.  
  
"Give it up, people," I managed through my smile. "It's so great being an author of a fan fiction story…"  
  
"Get ready for your worst nightmare, mutants…" Storm managed.  
  
Everyone got the message and they started pleading. "Please! Don't let us suffer anymore than we are now!" They all said.  
  
The author, wanting to see how they'd handle on this on their own, let it go. "Fine," I said, "But no more 'blame it on the author' lines."  
  
"It wasn't my fault! I just blurted it out! It's the author's fault!" Jean said.  
  
Everyone else shot her "The Stare", and she got the picture. "Sorry, she mumbled.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, fine. Take this as a warning. Kudos."  
  
AFTER TEN SECONDS OF SILENCE  
  
"Okay, can someone tell me what that was all about?" And what does 'Kudos' mean?" Logan asked, perplexed.  
  
Everyone ignored the wondering wolverine, scared that they'd be trapped with an annoying Star Wars creature in this already hot compartment.  
  
Scott tried settling things. "Gee, you know what, I think we should all just sit here, and wait until Prof X gets this thing fixed up so we won't get on anybody's nerves."  
  
"Well, you know what? I think you're too late for not getting on MY nerves, pal," Logan said with a hot glare.  
  
Scott sneered at him. "If I could use my powers, I'd make you fried egg a la carte right where you sit!"  
  
"If you could catch me."  
  
"I wouldn't need to."  
  
They both sat there, glaring at each other.  
  
"Lighten up, fellas," Rogue said, rolling her eyes.  
  
"You ever wonder why X's folks didn't call him Aaron, or Ben, or Chris? Or maybe Zeke, then he'd be Prof Z! Ha! Ha, ha," Storm humored, "Well? That was supposed to be funny."  
  
"It wasn't, so give it up," Jean muttered.  
  
"Gee, someone here needs a shrink."  
  
All of a sudden, the elevator doors opened, but it was between a floor, and Scott immediately shot up to help. "I got it," he said, again cockily.  
  
"Whoa, hold it, cowboy. You've caused enough trouble for one day," Logan said, holding him back. "Let ME do this."  
  
"Fine," he surrendered, "Go ahead and worsen this for all of us."  
  
Logan ignored the sarcasm and climbed out. Everyone else was gathered at the doors, watching the wolf man climb up the cables.  
  
"I see the doors!" He yelled, and Scott squealed like a girl in relief. He just as soon cleared his throat as he spotted the other women smirking at him.  
  
"I'm out!" They heard in the distance. "I'm pulling the car up!"  
  
They heard squeaking and groaning as they slowly pulled upwards.  
  
When they finally saw the sweat-soaked (eew) face of Logan, they jumped out and hugged him, tackling him to the ground. Okay, so they didn't do that. What? I couldn't think of anything else.  
  
Storm, Jean and Rogue thanked their hero profusely, but Scott shook Logan's hand in embarrassed surrender.  
  
Prof X was smiling at them as they entered his office.  
  
"Sorry we're late for the meeting," Jean said, fixing her hair.  
  
"We got a little delayed," Storm said, looking away.  
  
"Ah, that's all right," the prof replied, I know all about it."  
  
"You WHAT?!" Rogue asked in terror.  
  
"I set it up, in other words."  
  
"Oh, you crippled, scheming…" Rogue fisted her hands.  
  
Logan's eyes widened, as did Scott's. "YOU PUT US THROUGH ALL THAT?"  
  
"Yes. I wanted to see how you would react to a situation like it, if I could trust you to work together as a team."  
  
"I can't believe this…" Scott said, smiling and scoffing at the same time.  
  
Prof X was smiling when they tackled him.  
  
***  
  
That's all, folks! Don't forget to review this fic!  
  
*** 


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